I hope you’re ready for a “wordy” post.
I sat down the other night with a pen in one hand and an empty notebook in the other and decided to just write. It’s something that I used to do all the time but haven’t even thought about in years. I wasn’t sure where I was headed but (I think) that’s the beauty of this sort of thing. As I read back through the sea of words, a small portion stood out as something I needed to share…
To be honest, I’m not sure I’ve ever really known “happiness”. I think the closest I came was my junior year in high school; I was carefree, in love (or so I thought) and headed towards my “dream career”. I’m pretty sure I was happy then…or maybe I’m just seeing the past through the beautiful filter of time. Who knows. What I do know is that, since then, happiness has always been a bright and shiny, enticing vision way in the distance. Something I thought I’d only feel after I cleared a few extra hurdles, made a change or two to my being, and reached a higher level of perfection that others admired.
I’m just going to jump to the point here and say that everything about that logic is crap.
When did happiness become a goal that we’re to spend our whole life endlessly trekking towards? When did it transform from a feeling into an achievement? Happiness [aka: bliss] comes from within. It comes from your state of mind and your appreciation of all the beautiful things you have right in front of you. Therefore, ‘building bliss’ is nothing more than allowing yourself to feel bliss.
You ARE bliss. Every ounce of your being is bliss. Your smile, your laugh, your quirks, your passions…that’s where you find it. Not in a life you dream about– in the life you’re living.
I’m writing this as much for me as I am for you. I still struggle. I still feel pain and cry out in hopes of a life “better” than my own. I let insecurity get the best of me and fall into bad habits. I pick. I obsess. And sometimes I wish it would all just disappear.
But then a little light peeks its way into the dark abyss I’ve fallen into. I lift my head up, I smile and I get out of my own way. Then I remember that happiness is within reach…within me.
For anyone reading this, I hope you see the light. I hope you stop dwelling on what you wish your life looked like and embrace whatever it is right now. I hope you listen to your heart and make decisions based on the voices you find there, not in the world around you. I hope you love yourself…not because you have “potential” but because you’re unbelievable right. this. second.
Here’s to you, right now…
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**top photo credit: @kayfritzy